Leipzig and Solo Parenting

 Dallin spent a week in Hungary so it was just me and Teddy and the dog(s)--Milly stayed with another friend for a few days so I just had one dog for most of the time, which was helpful with my first solo-parenting venture. When I was out attempting to walk and occasionally jog with the baby and both dogs, I felt a little bit like performing an act in the circus and resisted the urge to yell at passersby “throw me another!” to see if I could manage a second baby or third dog in the chaos called “afternoon walk.”

Before Dallin left for Hungary, we finished the final season of The Office. I know I’m a decade late to the party, but I had only seen the first few seasons up until this point. I was not emotionally prepared for how that final Pam and Jim arc would wreck me–when Jim is starting this business in Philadelphia and Pam is doing this one-woman show taking care of the family and still working in Scranton and doesn’t want to move and so then Jim returns to Scranton full time and she feels guilty for him giving up his dreams for her but  Jim tells her she is everything to him? Yeah, oof. Wept like a child and I am tearing up writing about it right now. 

Also before Dallin left: For all the traveling and all the running I’ve done, somehow I’ve never managed to run a race in another country. Fortunately I got the chance to cross that off my bucket list because the Free University held a campus run as part of their Sommerfest. I picked the 5k option and ran it in 24:13, coming in 10th out of 200 women, so I was pretty happy about that. The race was also really well done—live music at the start/finish, lots of cute, encouraging signs along the way, a disco party in one of the tunnels near the end…it was super fun! My only complaint is that it was pretty hot (the race started at 5:15pm), but that part made me feel a little bit like I was back in high school cross country. Dallin and Teddy were troopers and came to support me even though it meant Teddy didn’t get to bed until 7pm (bless his little early-sleeper heart). 

We had some very hot days in Berlin, but fortunately the humidity was low so it didn’t feel as oppressive as the Bloomington summers I’ve grown accustomed to. Honestly, getting out of Bloomington for June and July was a big reason for coming to Germany. However in Bloomington we have the bonus of air conditioning whereas everywhere in Europe still lives under the impression that it’s better for your health to not have AC in your home (though many businesses and hotels have AC and all trains and hospitals…so it is possible). I thought about going back to the pool in our neighborhood on one of those really hot days, but when we walked by it was crazy packed and I wasn’t sure I was mentally capable of handling that many people by myself. So I gave Teddy a cool bath and he still had a good time. 

I celebrated the longest day of the year sans Dallin. The official sunset was 9:33pm with a sunrise at 4:43, though it starts getting light around 4am and isn’t really dark until after 10pm. So even for the mornings when I get up around 5am or 6am, the sun has already had time to get up pretty high in the sky. I think sometimes we forget how far north most of Europe is (Italy is at about the same latitude as New York). 

I got it in my head that having Dallin in Hungary was the perfect time for me to visit my friend Selina in Leipzig. So I did not only my first solo-parenting week at home, but I also squeezed in that little trip. Somehow I schlepped us all there without many issues (or really any issues? Thankfully one of the least eventful train rides so far). Teddy started getting his two front teeth over the weekend (!) and he was a little fussier than normal, but I finally scored seats in the Kleinkinderbereich, which I’ve seen every time we’ve been in a train and openly coveted because it’s a private space with its own door and has lots of cute kid-friendly things. Apparently this got me an “in” with the other parents too because these were the first trips where I’ve had very long conversations with other travelers. Teddy made another small friend on the train ride to Leipzig. His new friend generously shared his trains with Teddy (Teddy found it much more fun to chew on said trains than drive them). One of the topics of conversation with another mom was if it was true that America didn’t offer long maternity leave and what women do with their young babies when they go back to work and if there good child care systems and also what about breastfeeding? I verified the system was severely flawed and praised the German system where women and men are guaranteed one year of paid leave and an optional second of unpaid leave. 

Leipzig was a dream. I’d honestly forgotten how much I liked the city and while a bit sad Dallin didn’t get to go with me, I’m really glad I went and got to take Teddy. My main reason for going to Leipzig was to visit my favorite German librarian friend, but I got a bunch of extra perks from the trip too. We spent an afternoon at a little on-person library Selina manages and had a great time reading (and chewing on) books. It was also really neat seeing so many people come in. I don’t visit our public library very often, so I loved seeing what an integral part of the community this little library played and how many free things it offered. Plus it was fun to see Selina in her element and Teddy is just starting to enjoy his books. 

Because it was almost 100 degrees when I left for Leipzig on Sunday, I assumed it would stay warm. I was very wrong and brought all the wrong clothes for both me and Teddy because it dropped down to the 50s for the next day and a half with some very chilly rain/wind. Teddy took it in stride though and insisted on kicking off the blanket I brought in solidarity, trying to tell me he didn’t care if his feet and legs and arms were cold if mine were too. I took Teddy jogging with me and that went pretty well aside from me feeling bad that he was undoubtedly a bit chilly. Our second jog was to the Volkschlachtdenkmal, built in 1913 to commemorate 100 years since the Battle of Leipzig when Napoleon was defeated (the beginning of the end for him, so to speak). It was a really bloody battle with more than a half million people there and over one hundred thousand dead. The monument itself is large and solemn, as is fitting.

Teddy and I spent time in the city center, went to the Lukas bakery three times (I fell in love with their salmon sandwiches and strawberry pudding plunders) and also consumed a large amount of ice cream in the rain. Obviously it was a good time. 

The Leipzig respite was a definite highlight before returning to caring for the dogs and Teddy in Berlin. Though a bit overwhelmed, I managed and was so happy when Dallin came home this morning. This happiness was interrupted upon Dallin testing positive for COVID, which we are still figuring out how to handle. 

City of Stories

I kept thinking I needed a few days to recover from everything that’s been going on in our lives, but I have realized that I am simply in a constant state of recovering from being alive. 

The narrative of our lives is the story we write each day. We never put down the pen and sometimes it feels like I haven’t finished processing the last paragraph let alone this last chapter before another is unfolding. Who’s to say what the whole looks like and how we keep up with it all? 

We finally made it to this giant bookstore I’ve been wanting to visit (Dussman–Das KulturKaufhaus). I would have loved to have spent all day there. Several floors to browse,  an extensive children’s book section+cute children’s reading nook, all the things people who love words and are trying to raise a German-speaking child in the US could want. A part of the story that made me happy this week.

We also visited the Berliner Dom, which is my favorite building in Berlin. I’m not entirely sure why—it could be partially sentimental reasons (I think it was my first out-and-about-experience in the city back in 2013) and partially the colors and architecture (even when under construction). Teddy didn’t like the view as much as the one in Graz, but it was still quite nice. 

Being the proud, temporary owners of two dachshunds has come with its challenges. We absolutely adore Joey, who is apparently known as “the gentleman and the scholar” to his family. We have seen him catch 4 flies in the house and even though he is definitely the lazier of the two dogs, he gives his undivided attention to watching Teddy eat (and patiently waits for cleanup duty). It’s been a little challenging getting Teddy interested in solids, so it’s nice that at least someone is invested in his foods. Milly is much more hyper, but lacks the patience to watch Teddy eat. She also lacks the patience to sleep herself. She kept us awake several nights while whining and howling in the living room, desperately begging us to come out and sleep next to her.

She’s gotten better and more settled over the past couple of days, but it was a bad enough time to send me into a sleep-deprived spiral looking up the cost of plane tickets to home early. I was in a strange mix of being happy and homesick for most of the week–treasuring this unique experience with its different sights, smells, sounds, and tastes while also missing our dog, our house, and our backyard…lots of the little daily living things that are just so much more convenient and comfortable at home in Bloomington. 

A last highlight from my week was riding my bike to visit someone out in Marzahn. Google Maps told me that it would take an hour to get there with public transit, or an hour to bike there. When I lived here as a missionary in 2013-14, I loved biking all over the eastern half of Berlin (I fondly referred to my bike as my wild stallion). So for old time’s sake, I decided to bike. The Australian family we’re renting our apartment from left us bikes to use and the bike I used was just a little too tall for me, but it still worked out. It really was a brilliant bike ride. Perfect weather, longer than expected, lots of Soviet-style housing…all the nostalgic feels for my East German soul.  The visit with my friends was also lovely–she’s a 90 year-old woman living with her 57 year old son with cerebral palsy. She was born in what is now Poland, was a refugee after the war and lived in an old sheep stall while her family patched together a new life. I love hearing old friends’ stories with new ears. 

I thought that I might have had some unpleasant memories being back in Berlin since serving as an LDS missionary here almost a decade ago. My mission itself was both great and terrible, and my beliefs have changed a lot since that time, so I wondered if I would at least have some cognitive dissonance being back. However if anything, I’ve been reminded of how meaningful my time here was. As a fairly sheltered and somewhat self-centered 20/21 year-old, I had a difficult time adjusting to my new life in Germany. It wasn’t until I got to Berlin that I really started to enjoy my time, in large part because of the relationships I developed here. Being back in this city of stories has simply reminded me of how important relationships are, that in the end it should always be about experiences with people. 

Berlin is a city of stories. The narratives we live and those we tell each other are what make our lives understandable, even as we struggle to keep up. 

Hamburg und Hunde

 This week’s briefing is brought to you by our guest writer, Baby Teddy. 

Turns out they make dogs in different sizes. We had two dachshunds join us this week and apparently they are here to stay for the rest of the summer. I think they came with the apartment rental? I made a deal with the dogs where I’m allowed to touch them as much as I want as long as they are allowed to lick my hands and face after Mom spreads various pureed fruits, vegetables, yogurts, and grains on my body. Some of it ends up in my mouth too, but I don’t think that’s breaking my bargain with the dogs. The dogs sleep even more than I do and are very cuddly, so I think it’s a net positive to our household. 

Mom insisted it was important for us to visit Germany’’s three largest cities, so we completed that list by spending a night in Hamburg this week. Trains have been my favorite part of our Europe life so far. There’s a lot to see out the windows, everyone smiles at me, sometimes I meet other babies, and I consistently nap well in Mom’s lap despite otherwise being generally unwilling to nap on-the-go. When we visit new places, we go out exploring for a couple hours and then head home to nap. We always meet the nicest old ladies, and some of them are so excited to meet me that they grab my feet in glee.

Mom and Dad try to get me into bed not too late, which I appreciate. I tried keeping track of all the cool cribs I’ve slept in, but unfortunately I cannot count past eins at this time. The crib in Hamburg was exceptional. It even came with a little book about Fußball and a tiny pillow. It was located in what looked like a freight train filled with shipping containers and made me feel very cozy, though Mom and Dad were a little more hesitant about the aesthetic. Mom’s favorite part of the shipping container was the magical standing shower that had excellent water pressure and hot water. She seems to be over the whole sitting/kneeling for lukewarm showers in Berlin. Mom and Dad haven’t prioritized bathing me since we left Bloomington, so I don’t really mind either way.

 

I liked Hamburg the best out of the three of us. The harbors were fascinating and I adroitly navigated an old Soviet submarine while strapped to Mom’s chest. She bonked her head a couple times, but I wasn’t as clumsy. I expressed my satisfaction by yelling in excitement and kicking my legs into Mom repeatedly. It was pretty cold in Hamburg, which made Mom and Dad a little grumpy. It made me feel like a true seafaring baby–I think I’d like boats just as much as trains.

Another favorite part of Hamburg for me that was a lowlight for Mom and Dad was being carried up and down some very steep, narrow wooden stairs in my stroller. I felt like a true king and was not at all concerned that either of them would stumble despite the sharp stair angles. For some reason, we only went up and down those stairs once, but it was a place I’ll never forget.

I have a lot of adoring fans in Germany at large, but my #1 fan from Tübingen came to see me this weekend. I wooed her as a newborn and now I have a lot of new tricks, so I was happy to show her how much I’ve grown and all the noises I can make. She took me swimming and I’m not sure if there were more people crammed in that pool or in your typical afternoon subway car. It was pleasant, but a bit overwhelming, and I fell asleep immediately upon being put in my stroller–something I have resisted doing up until this point (mostly just to show Mom and Dad that I’m the one in charge).

I met a couple of Mom’s friends in Marzahn and despite offering them my best smiles, they did not share any of their ice cream with me. Let the record show that I resent that. Chances are good I would REALLY like ice cream if someone would like to help me try it. I finally got to hear Mom talk German with people who aren’t me, but everyone chatted too quickly for me to get what was going on. I decided to spit up all over Mom as a way to try to get them to talk more slowly.

We also visited the three exhibits currently on display at the German Historical Museum. I learned a lot about Karl Marx, Angela Merkel, and Richard Wagner. I got to see lots of photographs of Angela Merkel from the past thirty years and Mom got a little weepy because Angela Merkel is on her short list for most important leaders of the past century. I was a fan by the end of the exhibit too. 

Mom and Dad both did a lot more work from home this week than I was used to. Mom had some online meetings and did some writing and reading while Dad graded a lot of student papers and virtual presentations. He gave me some good tips for organizing an essay, which I’ve tried to apply in this guest post. I hope I still remember how to correctly cite sources by the time I actually have sources to cite, as well as what counts as a peer-reviewed source. Having both of them work more wasn’t too bad–I was happy to spend time rolling on the ground with my dog friends and yelling at my toys. When Mom and Dad weren't working, we went on some walks with the dogs to the Humboldthain park nearby. Even though I haven’t complained about the many loud cities we’ve been in, I really like the park and how quiet and green it is. There are lots of dogs and families there. I’ve heard enough Turkish that sometimes I forget that’s not one of the languages I’m trying to learn right now.  

I’m still happiest when I go to bed before 6pm and even though the sun rises around 4:30am, I generously sleep in until around 6am. Despite Mom’s worries about disrupting our family life to come here, I’d give it all a 10/10.