The mass chaos of the first week bled into the second week but we finally are settling down in Berlin and I already have the feeling not lugging 80 lb of stuff from city to city will be a game-changer.
Our train journey circled from Berlin to Prague to Budapest to Vienna to Innsbruck to Munich and back to Berlin. I’m not sure Teddy even remembers life before we spent half our days on trains.
Teddy left Budapest with the unofficial title of Hungary’s favorite baby and we arrived in Vienna without any hiccups. My dad currently works part time in Munich, and since he and my mom were already there, we had arranged to meet up in Vienna with them. We also saw our first Ukrainian refugees at the train station there. It initially seemed a bit odd to me we hadn’t noticed any in Budapest (or any help organizations there) since Hungary shares a border with Ukraine, but that may have something to do with politics or the more gradual trickle westward. It’s so hard to process Russia’s continued invasion of Ukraine and the devastating effects on human life. I don’t really know what else to say except that it’s awful people create such horrors for each other.
It was really nice to have some extra hands around with Teddy in Vienna and we also stayed in a large Airbnb, which meant it was our first time not just having one room for sleeping, relaxing, eating, etc. My parents kindly offered to stay home with Teddy while Dallin and I went out to visit Prater–the amusement park in Vienna. It was maybe our first real date since we had Teddy? Not sure. We went on a ferris wheel, a spinny ride that made me scream but in a good way, a little roller coaster that made me scream in a less good way (but I did not cry), and a scary ride where I literally kept my eyes closed the entire time (and probably would have cried had I opened them).
We just had one full day in Vienna and spent it visiting the Schönbrunnen palace and the Belvedere. It somehow felt like a really long day with both those things (so much walking with a baby carrier+worrying about Teddy being comfortable and getting enough sleep) and by the time we hit dinner, I was emotionally, mentally, and physically fried.
We ate at Vapiano’s because I thought it would be fast and Dallin asked me to get silverware for us and all the sudden I started sobbing–it was the fork that broke the camel's back. So there I was, crying while stuffing my face with average but nostalgia-inducing pasta and wanting to hurry home to put Teddy to bed.
Even though I cried a bunch at the restaurant, on the walk home, and at home, I had a good come-to-Jesus moment with myself in reevaluating what successful parenting looks like.
At home in Bloomington, I had so much control over Teddy’s schedule. I saw when he was tired and could put him in his crib as soon as I noticed. Here, every day he would get tired when we were 20+ minutes from home and there was nothing I could do for him immediately. I realized I’d been basing a lot of my personal “success” as a parent in getting Teddy enough sleep each day and all of the sudden I was getting none of that superficial success indicator. In Bloomington, he would go to bed at 5pm and wake up around 7am, and while traveling I’d been lucky to get him to bed before 7pm (and he'd been waking up…before 7am). I know sleep is so important, but I also logistically know that being a parent is much more than just giving your child opportunities to rest.
We left Vienna Sunday morning and arrived at the train station plenty early. My mom was heading to Innsbruck with me and Dallin while my dad returned to Munich for work. However, we apparently picked a very popular train and failed to reserve seats. I had paid extra to reserve seats on our previous trains, and then they didn’t have assigned seats anyways so I assumed this would be similar.
I was very wrong.
The train was wayyy oversold and there were not enough seats for everyone to sit, so if you hadn’t reserved a ticket (which was listed as optional), you simply had to stand like sardines with the other people who didn’t realize paying 2 euros to reserve a seat was a required option. A kind lady took pity on me as I once again started crying while holding Teddy smashed against other people and gave me her seat. However that seat was also next to an angry middle-age man who refused to give up his seat for the young Muslim woman who had paid to 2 euros to reserve it. While I was trying to nurse Teddy to sleep on the aisle seat, about 20 other passengers got involved and a yelling match ensued. They told him he needed to give up his seat and he yelled sexist slurs back at all of the women, insisting a bunch of ***** couldn’t make him move. A train attendant finally showed up and as soon as he saw she was also a woman, he started calling her dirty names too. Meanwhile, here I am, right there, slumped over an almost sleeping Teddy probably with a breast stick hanging out somewhere, desperately trying to hum some lullabies while–you guessed it–once again weeping a little bit. The man was finally escorted away, and the high stress point of the trip ended for me.
My mom and Dallin didn’t end up getting to sit for most of the train ride, which was a bummer because it was 4 hours of beautiful Austrian countryside and Alps. But we all made it just the same.
Innsbruck is definitely the prettiest place we’ve visited. I’ve been to Vienna and Salzburg 3x each, but nowhere else in Austria, so it was nice to visit another town–one right next to the Alps.
Innsbruck brought us some great running views, a beautiful old town, amazing strudel, overpriced Sachertorte, and cute baby clothes. We climbed up a tower to get an overlook of the city and spent most of our full day there walking around and eating. We ended up eating at the same restaurant two days in a row because we liked it so much the first day. Teddy also had his first experience chewing on bread and it’s one of his new favorite things.
After Innsbruck, we took a relatively short train up to Munich. We honestly just kind of crashed and burned there. I don’t think I have been this tired even with a newborn. I was also having a bit of dejavu to the newborn time because my breasts got leaky all the time again (does that happen with time change adjustment? Or maybe it was related to the frequent mastitis feedings I encouraged Teddy to take?) and I also was getting engorged pretty much every day and I was sore everywhere (but that’s from all the walking/running/bag and baby carrying and not a C-section).
Besides spending a lot of time lying down in Munich, we got some really excellent food. That feat was made much easier with my parents since they’ve been there so often and had such great recommendations. We also spent some time at Marienplatz and Dallin and I borrowed their bikes to ride over to the English Garden one day while my mom watched Teddy. I felt a little bad that Dallin didn’t get to do very many fun things in Munich because we mostly used it as a resting place, but hopefully we’ll be back in less exhausting circumstances.
Our final train brought us back to Berlin, where we are settling into our apartment and staying the rest of the summer–maybe forever. I’m not sure I can bring myself to pack everything up again. Or really almost everything. I’ve lost two charging cords, a tube of lipstick, and a tiny drinking glass for Teddy, so clearly not everything has made its way back to me when I packed up in each place. My mom came up to Berlin with us to help us get situated (another big help). One of the first things we did was buy a stroller here. My dad had a colleague that let us borrow a stroller in Munich and it was a godsend for some very hot days that did not require us to strap Teddy to our bodies. We’ve made some good purchases, but this stroller sure is high on the list.
I sure do love Teddy. After doing some processing in Vienna, I feel like I’ve been able to enjoy traveling with Teddy more and appreciate what a unique experience this is for us. In Bloomington, he’d met maybe a couple dozen people. Now, everyday he sees hundreds of faces and gets to have all sorts of conversations through smiles and squeals with people on the subway, in stores, and on the street. No more hermit life for him. I still stress out about trying to get him enough sleep (we’re playing catch up from the last couple weeks despite our attempts to provide nap times), but now that we’re in our home base I’m hoping it’ll get easier for things to feel routine.
The last couple of weeks definitely broke me but have also been really beautiful. I’ve loved experiencing them with Dallin, who has carried all the heaviest literal luggage pieces as well as shared in carrying the emotional baggage I’ve insisted on bringing. It also feels so right to be in Europe together. For two people studying European cultures and languages, it seems like it took forever for us to make it here (thank you pandemic). So even if it’s a hot mess, I’m grateful to be here with Dallin and Teddy.
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